Topic: Week 3 – Discussion 1 Dear Ann Reply to my classmate post

Details: My classmate discussion post below:

Do looks really matter that much? The answer is yes and no. When looking for a partner your first instinct is to be attracted to them physically before getting to know them. However, due to the hit and miss of this attraction, for the ladies there could be the beautiful man you have seen in your life, you start to observe him and realize he is not too attractive when he opens his mouth. This sentiment goes for men as well, she might be gorgeous as miss world but turns out to be not as attractive when she speaks or treat people. Yes, looks do matter but at the same time it does not, the person may be good looking, but it should be so much more than their looks that pulls a person in. If faced with the question what do you look for in a romantic partner? What is ranked the most important? And which is the least most important? Is it intelligence, understanding, family-oriented, good looks, sense of humor, ambition, honest, etc.? According to research, the reliability from this research shows that we rank most or all these traits as more important than good looks (Apostolu, 2011; Apostolou, 2015; Buss et al., 2001; Perilloux et al., 2011). For example, many will notice Beyonce, a very beautiful woman, perhaps one of the most desirable women in the world, but then we look at her husband and think what is she doing with a less handsome man like Jay-Z? I am sure she realizes that Jay-Z is not the sexiest man alive but besides that, she was drawn to him past his lack of good looks. She saw something much deeper than surface level, such as his looks.

Normally when looking for a romantic partner, the face and body generally are thought to be signals of mate quality in humans (Peters et al. 2007). When looking for a partner the first instinct is to be attracted to what we are seeing. Based on research physical attractiveness and personal attributes such as height, self-awareness and gender are important in determining how much individuals value physical attractiveness in their romantic partners (Jonason, 2009). The dating app has some success stories in finding the right match for individuals who have looked beyond physical appearance, while some have missed the mark, or one person is very attractive but has no substance. It is far and few in between you will match with someone who is attractive in both surface level and character level. According to a survey, few have stated that looks are more important when looking for a partner, in fact, the majority have stated that feeling comfortable with someone is more important. The survey has asked 5000 singles “When you think of chemistry on the first date, which of the following do you think is the most important component?”20 percent were sparked by looks or attractiveness, but 44 percent found feeling comfortable together to be what they found more attractive. Surprising the result from the survey 49 percent of men stated good conversation was more attractive to them (Entertainment Close-Up, 2011). Imagine having all the looks and Instagram model-worthy attractiveness and that be all that’s going for you? No depth just looks and no personality. A selected few may want a partner like that but both men and women are looking for something more than looks to keep them interested.

Based on experimental research evidently dating and speed dating have shown that look or physical attractiveness is equally important to both genders (Fugere, 2017). Looks fade is a quote many have used over the years. Individuals may look like young Leonard DiCaprio or Johnny Depp only for a time. To keep someone, individuals must develop a deeper beauty. According to research, physical attractiveness is the key to directing us to potential partners who are age-appropriate, healthy, and the ability to reproduce (Weeden and Sabini, 2005). When we are choosing a potential partner research has indicated that looks do dominate, which is pursuing a partner who is physically attractive to us (Luo and Zhang, 2009; Kurzban and Weeden, 2005; Thao et al., 2010; Fugere, 2017).

Although looks or physical attractiveness is part of looking for a romantic partner, looks are essentially not the most important. My advice would be having confidence in oneself, confidence is very attractive, so developing your confidence is important. Looks do fade, this does not mean you should not care about your appearance, no, take care of your appearance. Appearance could be in different ways such as taking care of your body in a way that you are healthy and feeling great, smiling more it takes less muscle to smile than it is to frown, expanding your mind, taking time to put yourself together properly, and most importantly focusing on you not worrying about what others may think. Take the time to develop you and remember “you are fearfully and wonderfully made” (Psalm 139:14) and “we are God’s Masterpiece” (Ephesians 2:20).

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