Responding to classmate: Collapse Subdiscussion Yralia Devereux Yralia Devereux
Throughout this class I have been learning about the different stages of development. I was especially interested in my adolescent years. I wanted to better understand my children who are in that stage of development. For this week’s assignment, I appreciated learning about middle adulthood. I was zoned in reading the article titled, “ An Unexpected War of Ages” Clinical Issues and Conflicts Related to Young and Middle Adult Development” by Barbera Berger (2016). I was happy to understand this phenomenon which is the challenges of middle adulthood. When your children become adults themselves, they move out for college, marriage, and start their own families and all of a sudden parents who used to be the center of their children’s lives are left to themselves. They may feel alone, not needed, and even rejected by their children. With a longing to feel needed again, sometimes moms become the mean, intrusive mother-in-law. This article helped me understand this stage of life. My heart felt broken reading it because I knew I would have to go through it, but I am grateful for the knowledge.
Middle Adulthood is the stage of life if we’re lucky, we’ll get to enjoy. The stage of life where some middle adults may be referred to as “empty nesters”. Parents are caught up unaware of what’s coming. On one hand, they are happy about the progress their adult children are making. The parents’ priority all of a sudden has changed. For some, they may be prepared for it. They may have retirement plans, they have a career and so they welcome this stage of life. For many, it is purely unexpected and it is a hard period in their lives.
I love this paragraph in the article, “Because conflicting experience with different love objects can create disruptions in object constancy, it becomes clear that separation–individuation itself must be seen as a lifelong process. This is reflected in the adult’s focus on marital relationships—seeking, creating, and maintaining them over time. The fantasies and idealizations of adolescence must be replaced with real relationships. A constant realignment of object ties is always in the process as experiences with children and parents unfold. The presence of ambivalence is exquisitely apparent as the healthy adult is gratified by the adolescent’s push for independence, though simultaneously and undeniably affected by aggressive feelings toward and envy of youth. Such rivalry is continuous throughout life as old narcissistic issues carry forward and new ones arise”. Berger (2016). While this is a challenging time in life, It can be a time for middle adults to work on things that have been put on hold. developed new talents, travel, etc. Ultimately, they can become narcissistic.
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